


This Doesn't Have a Name Yet

by Tien



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU Sorta..., F/M, Tien's Secret Ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-19
Updated: 2012-04-19
Packaged: 2017-11-03 22:46:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/386824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tien/pseuds/Tien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Equius pestered Jade?<br/>What if they were friends?<br/>What if Tien could write a decent summary?</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Doesn't Have a Name Yet

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a random ship, but I've seen worse.
> 
> I know Equius's quirk isn't as perfect as I'd like it to be, but I've only written him once, I hope to get it a bit better in the future.  
> I might also add a bonus scene to the end of this and fix up his typing style. 
> 
> Anyone have a good name idea?

\--centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 10:00--

CT: D--> Greetings  
GG: hello  
CT: D--> I see that you have b100d worthy of this conversation.  
GG: ???  
CT: D--> Your text. It is green, is that not a middle color to your species  
GG: youre weird!!  
GG: my blood is red!  
CT: D-->Oh  
CT: D--> Oh my  
GG: what is it??  
CT: D--> I cannot believe i am conversing with a mutant such as yourself  
CT: D--> Did the culling drones miss you  
CT: D--> I'm going to pretend you did not mention that, and that you said your b100d was in fact green  
CT: D--> While not a particularly noble or STRONG color, it will suffice  
GG: excuse me, but have we met before  
CT: D--> Neighgative  
GG: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm  
GG: hmmmmmm  
GG: hmmmm  
CT: D--> What is it  
GG: shhhhhhhh im thinking!!!!!  
CT: D--> May i inquire what you are thinking about  
GG: Shhhhhhh!  
CT: D--> Oh my  
CT: D--> I may require a towel  
GG: i said SHHHHHHH  
CT: D--> Ah, yes  
GG: i was thinking about whether i should block you or not!  
CT: D--> What was your final decision  
GG: youre pretty strange, and a complete stranger  
GG: but you dont seem like a bad guy  
GG: kinda creepy but ill give you a chance  
CT: D--> Yes good. I was hoping for this outcome  
GG: how did you find me????  
GG: its rather mysterious!!  
GG: trust me, i know alllll about mysterious things!  
CT: D--> I happened a% your username  
GG: ????? a%????  
CT: D--> Ah, my apologies, across  
GG: hmmmmmmmm that still seems pretty fishy!  
CT: D--> I am aware  
CT: D--> But if you would allow, i would like the chance to just speak with you, if i may  
GG: sure!!  
GG: my name is jade, whats yours?????

\---

Your name is Equius Zahhak and you are currently talking to one Jade Harley. You have been talking to her on and off through many of her Earth human years. But for you it has only been mere hours. She is rather enjoyable to talk to; usually you find carefree natures such as herself annoying and exceptionally pointless. But for reasons unknown you continue to pick up conversations and spend time tapping at your keyboard, trying very hard not to break anymore sets, it is becoming problematic.

"Equius!" A loud boom sounds from behind you.

"Y-Yes leader?"

"I demand to know why in the ever-loving fuck you are bothering with those stupid pink monkeys?"

That would be your leader, Karkat Vantas. He hides his blood color yet presents himself as a very strong leader. You would like to believe he is concealing a rather high blood color from you, perhaps a blue higher than yourself or possibly even a purple. There is a chance he doesn't want to intimidate the others with his high nobility and that is the reason behind the veil. You cannot wait for the day he reveals himself and takes his true place among the team.

"I was simply chatting with one Sir. They are not that bad."

"Impossible, they are terrible excuses for life and I can't wait to personally watch them fail. They are not even worthy of my hate, except for the John human, he will know my hate like no other. But I fucking digress. I advise you stay away from them, they can only bring about a pointless waste of time."

"You may like one."

"Ha! See that? You made me laugh! Don't do it again. Jokes don't suit you." Karkat stalked away and sat down at his computer, typing away such ferocity you are surprised his keyboard hasn't broken before yours.

The conversations with Jade grow longer, and throughout the chats you feel a connection with the girl. "Hey Equiuth, you know there'th a viewport on thothe thingth right?"

"Lowblood, I order you to say my name correctly," The way he disregarded your name made you shiver.

"Fuck you I have a lithp dumbath," He spun back to his computer screen, "I wath jutht letting you know that you could actually thee what you're doing."

"That is incredibly rude of me to do. Privacy must be protected; it is not my place to snoop on the lives of others."

\--centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 10:00—

GG: you're always so prompt hee hee!!  
CT: D--> Establishing reliability is something that must not be over100ked  
GG: hmmmm i suppose!  
GG: what did you want to talk about today equius?  
CT: D--> I was hoping to discuss the matter involving the game you are about to play with your friends  
CT: D--> It is a serious matter that must be treated very carefully  
CT: D--> If you fail you could die  
GG: this is that game sburb right???  
CT: D--> Yes that is correct  
GG: im really looking forward to playing it!!!  
GG: are you sure its that dangerous?  
CT: D--> Yes i am. Trust me jade  
GG: hmmmmmmmm ok, if you say so…i mean you havent lied yet  
CT: D--> Thank you  
GG: oh noooooooo :c  
CT: D--> What  
GG: bec just got into something again i better go see what it is  
CT: D--> Be careful, i do not approve of that devilbeast of yours

\--gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT] at 10:05--

Your name is Jade Harley and just off the computer with your friend Equius. He's really weird but oddly sweet. Sometimes he gets all mad and it's kinda cute. You've been talking to him for years, sometimes he likes to do what you think is roleplaying. He says he's an alien from another universe; you're not sure how much you believe.

Though, you guess you know the feeling too. Sometimes your friends don't believe you live all alone on an island with a just a dog taking care of you. Speaking of dogs, one in particular is going to be in so much trouble if he disturbed your chat for something stupid. He's usually a really good dog, the best friend you could ask for. Sometimes however, it's rather lonely living by yourself. You're glad you have people to talk to, and a troll? You're still not sure on that one.

The island you live on is very calm today, almost like everything knows something just happened.

"Bec!" You called out into the jungle. "Bec! Come here boy!" Pausing there doesn't appear to be any sound. "Funny, usually he comes by now." The forest is quiet and you walk carefully to where the ruins rise up out of the tree line. There might be something there you figure. That was a pretty good assumption on your part, when you arrive you see a rather large crater. Bec is standing near it. "Bec?" As you began to approach the crater Bec began to growl. "Bec, bad boy don't growl at me." Unfazed by his actions you proceed forward, but he keeps blocking your path. "Damn it Bec move!" he doesn't, which frustrates you to no end. "Fine! Stay there!" You turn around and trudge back to your house. You'll have to explore the new crater when Bec leaves. It must be from an asteroid impact, or else something else fell from the sky. You hope it wasn't an airplane part or something like that. After climbing the stairs back to your room you hastily start back up your computer and turn on pesterchum. There are lots of handles that are in your chumroll. Most belong to people who you've never spoken to much. Equius's is still lit up, but you hesitate on contacting him, you don't want to be a bother.

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG] at 11:16--

CT: D--> Is everything alright  
GG: yup!!!!  
GG: theres this HUGE crater that appeared on my island  
GG: but bec is being difficult and wont let me near it  
CT: D--> Perhaps he is just trying to protect you  
CT: D--> That meteor could be dangerous, i forbid you from going near it  
GG: …equiiiiius you cant order me to do anything!! remember?  
CT: D--> Oh, oh yes. I'm terribly sorry. I'm so used to dealing with nepeta that sometimes i forget myself  
GG: hee hee do you need a towel?  
CT: D--> I may need one soon if this type of conversation continues  
GG: youre so weird  
CT: D--> My apologies  
GG: its ok!!!! really!!!!  
GG: you know what????  
GG: you said i could make a whole bunch of items when im in the game right??  
GG: well when i get into the game im going to make you a whole bunch of new towels!  
GG: it will be a gift from me to you!!  
GG: c:  
CT: D--> Oh…well thank you  
CT: D--> I will have to fashion a gift for you as well then  
CT: D--> I ask you to e%cuse my lack of adequate materials though. There is not much in the veil that i can use

"Ooooohhhhhh Equius who are you talking to?"

"Nepeta it is none of your concern who I talk to."

The troll girl leaned in over your keyboard to look at the screen, "Gardengnostic? Who's that?"

You sigh and gently nudge her away. "That would be Jade Harley."

"One of the humans right?" She started reading your conversations.

"Nepeta this is extremely rude and I demand you cease at once." She giggles and ignores your order to stop.

Her eyes catch something and light up, "Oh you two are going to exchange gifts now?" She spins on you asking, "Are you red for this human girl?" Already you can feel yourself begin to sweat and the possibly blush? Oh fiddlesticks this is embarrassing. Nepeta squeals in delight from your reaction, miniscule as it is. "I must go update my shipping wall at once!" She leaves you to your conversation.

CT: D--> I'm terribly sorry about the delay in conversation  
CT: D--> A certain roleplayer was becoming rather distracting  
GG: thats nepeta right????  
CT: D--> Yes. She is my moirail  
GG: moirail? Whats that???  
CT: D--> This is rather hard to e%plain to a human  
CT: D--> Think of it as your best friend, but more  
CT: D--> Someone who can calm you down when you feel like punching a robot  
CT: D--> A person that no matter how annoying is always there  
CT: D--> And ready to catch you when you fall  
GG: …  
GG: …  
CT: D--> Was my e%planation not satisfactory  
GG: no equius it was…im just…wow that was the nicest thing youve ever said  
GG: a moirail sounds wonderful!!!!!!!  
CT: D--> They are e%quisite  
CT: D--> There is much about troll romance that is beautiful  
CT: D--> Comple%, but highly honorable

\---

GG: equius we need to talk!!!!  
GG: >:c  
CT: D--> Jade? What do we need to discuss  
CT: D--> Are you ok  
GG: noooooooooo  
GG: no im furious!!!!  
CT: D--> Oh my, what happened  
GG: trolls happened!!!  
GG: ive been getting nonstop pesters all day!!!  
GG: everyone i talk to says that ill fuck up today!  
GG: they all say they know you too  
GG: one of them claimed to be your leader  
CT: D--> I uh.  
CT: D--> Jade please be calm about this  
CT: D--> Rational  
CT: D--> What did the "leader" one say? What was his typing style like  
GG: here i can copy paste, im not dumb enough for that!!!  
GG: CG: HI AGAIN, IDIOT.  
GG: CG: SO I GUESS TODAY IS FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP.  
GG: CG: YOU DON'T GET THAT I AM BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY, FOREVER.  
CG: YOU DON'T GET THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE INCREDIBLY STUPID.  
GG: is that enough for you????  
CT: D--> That is e%ceptionally rude and vulgar  
GG: i knooooow!!!  
GG: do you know him???? or is he just spouting off nonsense???  
CT: D--> Well, uh…Jade…you see…  
GG: equius  
CT: D--> He is not lying.  
CT: D--> That would be my leader, karkat vantas  
CT: D--> He has the most 100d manner of speech  
GG: i dont care about his speech patterns!!!  
GG: he said all of your troll buddies are here to watch us fail and laugh at our stupidity!!!  
GG: is this the only reason youve been talking to me????  
GG: youre just waiting for your chance to laugh too???  
GG: oh look at all the pathetic humans!!! lets laugh because theyre not as superior as our obviously better troll selves!!!  
CT: D--> J-Jade stop this nonsense now  
CT: D--> I will not stand to be lumped together with those lowb100d scum  
CT: D--> They may have been planning something like that but-  
GG: i can't believe i wasted so much time talking to you!!!!!!!!!  
GG: you make me sick!!!!!!  
CT: D--> Jade

\--gardenGnostic [GG] blocked centaursTesticle [CT] at 13:06--

You stared at your computer screen for a long time. There was a deadness inside that you haven't felt in a long time. Without saying anything to your comrades you exit the computer lab and abscond to your section of the lab. Many unfortunate robots meet their demise by your fists. Nepeta picks up on your instability immediately and invites you to a feelings jam.

There is an air of awkwardness as you explain what had transpired and your own inability to talk to her and make it right again. Nepeta listens to your whole story and offers what advice she can.

There was a horrible feeling deep within you when you failed to tell her about her guardian and the fact that his prototyping would mean the end of their session. After she entered the game you would drop Jade a few random messages, some containing hints and others with apologies. You had hoped that she would reply, but she never did.

\---

Your name is Jade Harley and man are you a huge jerk!

Equius has been trying to get a hold of you for hours, but you never say anything to him. You know he probably isn't like the others, in fact, you're certain he isn't. You're being really childish and you have no idea why. You close all his windows and ignore everything from the handle.

Even though you're mad, you still follow through with something you promised a long time ago. You may be a jerk, but you won't be the jerk that forgot something important.

\---

Your name is Equius Zahhak and everything is falling apart around you. The noble blood caste system you have clung to so desperately is crumbling. You've received news that the highblood has gone insane, and you were given orders to stop him. To kill him.

These are orders you know you will fail.

\---

There is something horribly wrong when you reach the rim of the volcano and see the large mountain of what appears to be shaving cream heading straight for you. There is a blinding flash and that's all you remember.

You think you died.

\---

Something is around your neck. Oh yes, it's the string of your own bow. Everything is hazy as the highblood is strangling the life out you. Your instincts tell you not to fight back. In fact, somehow you're almost happy that he is killing you. There's a joy, a sick pleasure that you're feeling. You just hope to whatever god is out there that you do not die with a smile on your face.

You died, and never got to make up with Jade.

\---

Dream bubbles are peculiar. They are able to connect the world of the living with that of the dead. You have witnessed the event take place multiple times. Humans are pale, they have no horns, or claws, nor do they have fangs. They seem pretty weak, but you haven't said that out loud yet. Not only is it horribly rude but also you haven't worked up the nerve to confront a human.

You've never seen Jade, so any one of these humans could be her. There's a shame you're feeling, you don't want to meet her in your state. You are dead and she is alive. No, she's better than alive. You've heard from other trolls you've contacted that she is now a god.

Magnificent.

\---

There is a girl, walking the vast expanse of dry desert broken by the occasional patch of sugar cubes and running water. This dream bubble is quite large, easily encompassing many, many thoughts of individuals. She hopes that maybe this time she can find the one she's looking for.

Already the girl has been met by alternate versions of Karkat, Eridan, and even Nepeta. The heat is pretty intense and she jokingly thinks about reaching for a towel. The memories of a certain troll flood her brain and she smiles.

"I hope I can find you soon!"

After rounding another bend and resting in an oasis she begins to worry. They might be passing out of the dream bubble soon, and that would be no good at all. She quickens her pace and climbs a sand dune. There is a silhouette outlined by the sun. "Hey!" She calls out enthusiastically.

The figure turns and is revealed to be a rather tall troll. It's one she is unfamiliar with. He looks surprised and turns to the girl, "What may I help you with?" He already is showing signs of perspiration.

"Oh, I was wondering if you could help me find someone, it's very important."

"Your ears are quite exquisite," he says suddenly.

"W-What?"

"Oh dear, that was rather embarrassing, I do believe that was rude of me. But the complement remains true."

The girl gets a better look at the troll. His symbol is blue and the sign for Sagittarius, he has one broken horn and a few missing teeth. She can spot his eyes darting from the ground to her face behind cracked shades. He has a layer of sweat that is already forming, "Do you um, need a towel?" She asks smiling.

"That would be much appreciated," he takes the soft piece of fabric from the girl and his eyes widen upon catching something embroidered on it. "W-Who may I help you find?"

The girl giggles; she knew she noticed that speech pattern somewhere. "It's ok! I already found him!" He looks at the girl puzzled, "Here let's start over!" She outstretches a hand, "My name is Jade!"


End file.
